Dysgrace, a system of spiritual abuse

I am no fan of the "mega-church movement," nor am I a fan of it's spawn, "the seeker sensitve movement," but there are some great lessons to be learned from the leaders and thinkers therewithin.

David Faust, who happens to be the president of my college, wrote a book entitled, "Growing Churches, Growing Leaders" subtitled, "How to lead a growing church and live a balanced life." Big title for a book of only 200 pages.

There is an interesting chapter called, "An Atmosphere of Grace" in which a section is called, "Atmospheric conditions which lead to dysgrace and decline" (note that it is dysgrace, defined as a tragic distortion or impairment of grace)

Anyway, the basic concept is this: If you are the minister of a congregation, and your congregation is not spiritually growing, and in fact is not physically growing, then there is a reason. And chances are, the reason is you.

Let me preface this by saying that not all churches with declining growth are bad, abusive, or oppressive. In fact, many of them are just the opposite. They are just victims of demographics, socio-economic factors, and trends in church growth. But there are a few churches, because of their leadership, which are hurtful, abusive, and for lack of another word, un-Christ-like.

Faust explains,

"In churches afflicted by dysgrace, one can detect several unhealthy conditions which pollute the atmosphere."

These are defined, amusingly with rhyming words. Man, I love how creative we often are. Anyway, the first reason for the decline of growth due to dysgrace is refusing people.

"Some churches simply shut out potential members and refuse to offer grace to anyone considered different or undesirable. It is dysgraceful when Christians refuse to reach out across barriers involving economic or social status, educational background, or skin color."

The next unhealthy condition is defusing people.

"Another symptom of dysgrace is the tendency to stifle enthusiasm and fresh ideas...dysgraceful churches squelch enthusiasm, creativity, and uphold the status quo at all costs. They are spiritual fire extinguishers, ready to throw cold water on the sparks of new ideas before they even have a chance to burn brightly."

The third dysgraceful act is confusing people.

We cannot send mixed messages of love/compassion and legalism/religiosity. We cannot hold up God's grace in one hand, but judgement from the staff members in the other. Along this line of confusion is the unfortunate truth that many ministers spread more fog than shed light. If we proclaim the love of Christ, then it should be evident in our lives.

The fourth unhealthy condition is amusing people.

"Dysgraceful churches seldom experience real joy. Instead, they offer shallow entertainment and gospel gimmecks intended to draw and amuse a crowd.

Finally, and on somewhat of a more personal level is the unhealthy condition of abusing people.

In extreme cases, dysgrace may be best described as outright spiritual abuse.

There are some identifiable dynamics to spiritually abusive systems.

1) Power posturing: Leaders demand excessive amounts of authority and compel their followers to submit.
2) Performance preoccupation: Spirituality is measured by strict adherence to the church's rules with little emphasis on grace.
3) Unspoken rules: For example, the "can't talk" rule instructs that any expression of disagreement or dissent is viewed as disloyalty toward the church's leadership.
4) Lack of balance: Abusive churches may either overemphasize subjective experiences or go to the other extreme and allow no room for the personal leading of God's Spirit.
5) Paranoia: Such churches are dominated by suspicion and fear of outsiders, and discourage interaction with the outside world.
6) Misplaced Loyalty: Loyalty to Christ becomes identified exclusively with one's involvement in a particular congregation or organization.

and finally,
7) Secretiveness: Rather than dealing with important issues and problems with an appropriate degree of openness, abusive systems consistently handle such matters behind closed doors.

The common thread to the dysgraceful church is that they are using people instead of ministering to them.

Let me add this personal note: IF you are in an abusive relationship with a partner, spouse, or family member, anyone in their right mind would tell you to get help, get out, or go to the authorities. So why is it that we allow ourselves to be in abusive spiritual relationships? Why do we allow minsiters to control and manipulate us? If you are in a church where ANY of these things are taking place, you should seriously take a look at the system of that church. Is it gracious or dysgraceful?