Post #129 Poets, Prophets & Preachers: Day 3, Session 4

Day 3, Session 4
Rob Bell
"The one thing I've never heard someone talk about that has changed everything for me."

When you are in leadership, you will be given many backhanded compliments and hurtful suggestions. These, Rob explains, are "chocolate covered turds."

We tend to focus on the one negative comment even if we have heard nine positive ones.

Rumors, gossip, and lies will happen. In Acts 21:37-39 a soldier asks Paul, "aren't yo the Egyptian who started a revolt and led four thousand terrorists out into the wilderness some time ago?"

There will be someone who belongs to the "official committee for doctrinal purity, orthodox rhetoric, and general theological correctness."
- These people are usually self-apponted
- THey always seem to hit you when it hurts the most.

Rob explains that it can feel like "death by papercuts." On their own, they hurt and irritate, but receiving one after another after another will cause us to bleed out. These tiny slices will eventually kill is.

In order to avoid all of these things, we do 3 kind of things:
- we hold back: we don't push, don't challenge, don't try like we used to
- we create lists and labels: we label those who hurt us, we put them on a specific list
- we get revenge: passive - purposely not giving our best
active - slander, anger, malice from the pulpit

The one thing that we need to hear:
You have to learn to forgive.
- you forgive people not institutions

Someone says something negative about you. The anger or pain we hear is actually because of our feelings of vulnerability, of being studied, or analyzed.

"Even sheep have teeth!"

Some people are toxic: Proverbs 26:11
They will return to their "vomit" again and again, and you do not need to be there when they do.
Some people need very strong boundaries!


Speaking of boundaries: Titus 3:10
-You are not an ecclesiatical punching bag, hired by the masses to take the punches. You are a precious resource, a gift to your community. It is ok to guard yourself.

Luke 12:13 "Man, that's not my job!"
There are areas of life that other people are actually better trained and better suited for. The pastor does not have to be the problem solver and life fixer for every issue in life.

Forgiveness relieves us from the pain and anger.
Forgiveness also relieves those who hurt us from our punishment.

Luke 23 "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing."

Tim Keller: "Forgiveness means refusing to make them pay for what they did..." it also saves us from the "life-long, living death of bitterness and cynicism."

The cross says, "The pain stops here."
"...absorbing pain instead of passing it on. Transforms pain from a destructive impulse into a creating power." - Parker Palmer